Well, it’s been a while since I wrote anything for the Come Closer blog. A long while. My original thought was to post something once a week, but I haven’t. My original thought was to draw other women to write and post, but I haven’t. Life has in recent years taken twists and turns I hadn’t reckoned on, and in the course of it all, I pushed writing this blog further down the list and ignored the prompting to start again.
A little about me…
As a child I loved to write. If you asked my parents, they would recall reams of paper in my bedroom with countless scribbles. One of my earliest primary school memories was writing a story about a rabbit, which was in a hand cut rabbit shaped book no less. My spelling wasn’t the best, but my imagination never let me down. Oh the stories I could see as I closed my eyes. My child-like mind would be filled with colourful characters in wonder filled details. The landscapes were dressed to enhance the unfolding story, with each personality having their own sense of intriguing or delightful purpose.
So what happened? Well, not unlike other people, overtime, I simply stopped. As a teen, I learned that not everyone liked my creative, heart on a page, writing style. A teacher’s critique filled red pen, often obliterated my pages. Then as the years went, I became naturally consumed with life events, love and marriage (thank you David), trying to find a bill paying purpose and having two incredible children.
It was by God’s grace I stumbled into a job as a technical writer. I now have two growing businesses, which currently don’t include much writing, but you never know! It’s been an adventure so far though! My husband (David) and I have taken leaps of faith, trusted in the painful unknown and the impossible, and ‘seen the honey’ in the driest of seasons. BUT, my scribbles have remained predominantly private; giving way to a more practical professional head. A kind of head and heart disconnect somehow when it comes to writing? I enjoy my ‘job’, love my family, and am so grateful for all God has given me, but know there is more to get intentional about. More that He has in store for you and for me. Can you sense him stirring you?
My love for words has threaded through the years. Words can jump off the page, speak deep within, and hold a capacity to touch and change the human heart. I think words drew me so easily to love the bible.
The incredible events, the plots, the love, the pain, the sorrow, the victories, the defeats, the reality of human weakness, the incredibleness of God’s unwavering strength and the unfolding of His ancient plan, all captivate me. It nourishes my heart, vitally sustains and brings continual transformation to my storm-tossed mind and soul. One of my favourite bible stories as a child was Gideon, possibly because my father was my Sunday school teacher, and retold it with such passion and detail. I love that God choose to do what we would never have thought ‘sensible’ to do.
A prompting, a stirring…
So here I am now, in my early forties (eeek), sat with a prompting I have tried to ignore. It’s a prompting to start just where I am and rekindle this blog. To fan into flame God’s gifting. To stop scribbling purely in private. A prompting that says to write with both heart and head. Trusting God and writing what He places on my heart; believing He will breathe on the words He chooses to use. Over the years, I have been given opportunity to use gifting God has gracefully given me, and so know that it is only His active, participating presence that astounds, redeems, challenges, reassures and surprises. Above all, it’s all about Him.
BUT, and it’s a big BUT, my mind has wrestled with a persistent, relentless, drowning, nagging voice, that argues with valid, logical arguments (so annoying) to keep me from starting. (Anyone identify? Anyone?).
- First, there are many great voices already out there writing. They pen with great power and eloquence. So, what on earth can I add?
- Second, what if I fail? What if I try and then can’t find the time to write? I’m a wife, mother, daughter, friend, business owner, lead Come Closer, volunteer etc. What happens if I can’t sustain writing?
- Third, what if I write and it’s utter rubbish? Oh, this is a good one hey! The power of other people’s perceptions!
NEVERTHELESS (I love that word), the prompting persists, mingled with thoughts like, what if I don’t try? What if just one person is encouraged along the way. What if this blog helps release someone else’s gifting? How wonderful would that be? If simply a few read this, I’m perfectly content. (My husband, and greatest encourager, could not be happier I’m here writing).
The power of the unknown can leave us all paralysed and discouraged. Our enemy would love us to remain as small, isolated and pushed down as possible. We can have faith in God for great things, and yet be overwhelmed by our own insecurities. I know and have witnessed that God heals, transforms, sustains, changes, gives strength and walks each day with you and me. But, strangely find it hard putting pen to paper, or hands to the keyboard. NEVERTHELESS, I know it’s time to obey; realising that in my absolute weakness, God’s strength and glory is made ever more brighter, totally eclipsing my insecurities. The same goes for you.
A simple step…
So, after much ignoring, then praying, then humbling (and stopping running), and finally surrendering, I’m starting a new writing journey, hoping to bring others with me. Unsure how it will look; but remembering Gideon and that God’s ideas are not usually the same as ours, it begins.
I don’t know where you are today? Do you have a prompting, pulling, drawing towards something? Perhaps it’s something practical, creative, spiritual, administrative, encouraging? Is God prompting you to fan into flame the gifting he has given you? Have you been ignoring it? Have you been saying, I’ll do it next month, and then three months, a year, 10 years goes by. Don’t be discouraged. The best thing I can say is, start with a simple step. Any change happens with a simple step. Little by little.
My simple step is to intentionally post this. The strategy side of my mind (which can be really loud) would want to pin myself down to posting once a week. NEVERTHELESS, right now, I’m just simply going to start and hope. To hope that in the coming months ahead other women (and men) would come join me and write blogs to post; fanning their own gifting into flame. Amazingly, a few women have already written something to share!
My prayer is that this Come Closer blog would encourage, stir, inspire, challenge, equip, speak into, join together, and draw others to our altogether lovely Jesus.
So why not take a simple small step in whatever God is prompting in you. Are there others in your life who can support you, or even step into something with you? It’s always easier to do life together. Would a mentor be helpful, both to encourage, give wisdom and challenge? It can be so useful to share with a trusted someone. Ask the Holy Spirit for His guidance. Time is short. God is Here.
Let’s take a simple small step out; expectant, hope filled, and stand secure in who we are made to be. His beloved daughters and sons, who need our Heavenly Father’s never-failing strength. For its not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit says the Lord Almighty.
I’m cheering you on! Thanks for reading!