Leaving the past behind so you can walk into something new can be the most vulnerable, sobering and uncertain of experiences. It is full of terrifying thoughts of ‘what ifs’ but there is also a something inside that says ‘what if I don’t’. What if I don’t try? What if I wake up in 5 years and my life feels the same? How do I get past this feeling inside that there is more ahead of me than behind me? Can I walk by faith rather than on my feelings or what I see around me?
It’s a well used turn of phrase that periods of our lives are like a season – Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter. That all sounds rather tidy doesn’t it? A season ends and the next begins. But, the truth is that some seasons are filled with winter battles that can leave you more vulnerable than when first began. Others are great summer seasons where fruit blooms and the sun shines.
However, the changing of seasons are usually more difficult to work through than the road ahead. There are times that seasons come to an abrupt end and there are those when we have to sense there is a change and need to respond to it. This is a difficult, especially if a season comes to an end to which you have felt attached to. Where change in that area you know is going to be painful and would rather stick with what has been, than let go, not knowing what else to grasp hold of. There is a pausing in the middle where just like a relay runner you have run with your baton held tightly in your hand and have to pass that onto someone else, but as yet there is nothing replacing the security of the object you once held. The baton you were holding is no longer yours, and yet you know the next race is being lined up, but it is yet to begin, or at least that’s how it feels. In truth, God is always at work in the finer details of our lives. He sets up things far in advance of us ever anticipate whats come.
Let me give you a simple example. A number of years ago, David (my husband) and I had the privilege of putting together a 4 day itinerary for the Watoto Children’s Choir whilst they were in the local area. Our desire was for the choir to go into a secondary school and so though a contact it was all arranged. It seemed to us that God’s hand was directly over even the finest of details. It was through this simple event that we met a teacher at the school who was placed in charge of hosting the choir during their time with them. Both then and a few years later when Watoto returned to the school, David and I were very aware that our lives were in the ‘right place’ (you know what I mean). What we didn’t know was that 4 years after first meeting this teacher and placing our house on the market to sell, that he would turn up on our doorstep and subsequently buy our home! We had been praying that God would give us a great knowing of his peace in selling! We felt that God had set us up and it gave us the courage to release our home not knowing where we were going. We ended up moving in with my parents for 18 months in a season that was one of the most difficult we have walked through to date. If we ever doubted selling the house God would remind us of the peace he gave us in letting it go even though as I write this we have still not bought another home 3 years later.
Why am I writing this? Because right now I am releasing myself from areas of my life that I know I need to let go of. but at the same time I have no certainty of what lays ahead of me. Some of you will say, “How exciting!” and it is on some days. However, on others it can be feel completely overwhelming and sometimes even unfair that I can’t have a smoother path! How crazy is that! You get one life to live, you pray “Lord use me wherever and however you want to. It all of me that you have” and then we are completely bowled over when the path ahead starts being sifted.
Anyway, I want to leave you with a thought. God is on your side. He isn’t going to drag you into your future, he wants to lead you. He sings over you. He sent the Holy Spirit to be with you. He sent his son to redeem you. You have a father, counsellor and friend who will help you in the minutes, hours and days ahead. When you feel emotionally flat, exhausted, worn down, hot with frustration, struggling with uncertainty, unable to think anymore and ragged with making decisions let me encourage you. He is CERTAIN when things are uncertain. He is UNCHANGING when your finances, health, relationships and future are changing. He is Immovable when the all else is moving. He speaks LIFE where the shadows of death have been spoken. His promises are Sure and His name is the unrelenting, unfailing and all-conquering I AM over all things.
Be encouraged. Be Blessed. Be Inspired.